TechCrunchs first-quarter tech earnings season prop bets

Here at TechCrunch, we tend to pay close attention to the earnings reports of the big companies. And for good reason! It grants us some insight into major technology trends and some signals that can help us not only prophesy what makes are going to be around in a few years( not mentioning any figures ), but too directionally what kinds of startups might be successful.

But!

Sometimes these reportscan be dull. And sometimes these reports can be quite boring and descend directly in-line with what Wall street and everyone else expects. We have a couple brand-new records this quarter like Snap, but since were here, we might as well have a little bit of recreation. So were going to set out some of the quirkies of some of the recreation, stupid and other thing that might happen this earnings season.

Note: WE ARE NOT GOING TO PAY OUT THESE BETS. WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY OR RESOURCES. OUR PARENT COMPANY JUST BOUGHT YAHOO FOR SOME REASON .

Twitter

Anything bad happens because its 4 A.M .: 3/2

Jack Dorsey told me that he still leading both companies : 3/1

Twitters ad business decreases : 2/1

Twitter talks about very great brand-new executive unit : 5/1

More Twitter layoffs : 50/1

Jack Dorsey inadvertently calls Twitter Square and has to apologize : 25/1

Square shares go up after Twitter descends for some reason : 3/2

Apple

Apple proliferates revenueand/ or iPhone marketings : 5/1

Over/ under on Customer Sat mentions on the earnings entitle : 3

Apple breaks out Apple Watch amounts : 100/1

Apple assistances revenue divulges$ 9 billion : 10/1

Self-driving automobile mention : 15/1

Tim Cook responds assistances revenue will be length of a fate 100 company in 2016 : 3/1

Someone mentions augmented world : 15/1

Apple stock rises more than 3 %: 7/1

Over/ under on number of Qualcomm lawsuit mentions( consultant or otherwise ): 3

An Apple executive actually words Qualcomm on the entitle : 7/1

Greater China revenue decreases : 4/1

Someone says something about the Apple automobile : 15/1

Apple TV is called a diversion : 25/1

Alphabet

Line on Other Bets loss :$ 900 M

Larry Page shows up to earnings call : 40/1

The Waymo lawsuit is mentioned in some mode : 20/1

Someone actually mentions Uber by epithet : 50/1

Alphabetbreaks out gloom revenue : 25/1

Alphabetcost-per-click proliferates : 50/1

Alphabetdeclares a regular gain : 3/2

Alphabet shares go up more than 3 %: 6/1

Someone mentions currency fluctuations : 7/1

Yahoo

Yahoo discloses another spoof : 25/1

Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg says something about his USA expedition : 3/2

Instagram is amply are broken down : 100/1

Commentators ask about bogus bulletin : 5/1

User proliferation stallings totally : 50/1

A Facebook executive actually addresses bogus bulletin : 15/1

The number of tales affixed to Instagram is mentioned : 3/2

Someone responds anything about GIFs : 10/1

Facebook stock goes up by 3 %:8/ 1

Snap

Snap somehow discloses some number thats shaping Instagram : 50/1

A Snap executive actually mentions Instagram by epithet : 75/1

A Snap executive actually refutes the inevitable contention considering Instagram Stories DAUs with some lucidity : 45/1

Snap actually vanquishes possibilities enough to authorize its current revenue multiple : 25/1

Snap announces some brand-new corporate governance method to share restrain with public investors : haha yeah right

Snap stock goes up by 3 %: 4/1

Snap breaks out Spectacles revenue : 10/1

Microsoft

Microsoft discloses last-place parts Windows Phone marketings : 100/1

Microsoft breaks out Surface Studio marketings amounts : 75/1

Microsoft breaks out Azure-specific lope proportion : 25/1

Google Cloud or AWS is actually mentioned : 30/1

Satya Nadella quotes some verse : 35/1

Microsoft shares go up 3% or more : 9/1

IBM

Some grim mention or signal of additional future layoffs : 5/1

Netflix

Netflix somehow vanquishes possibilities for domestic subscriber proliferation : 7/1

Netflix original streak The 3% is mentioned :8/ 1( huge prove by the way)

Over/ under on 2017 s content deplete if mentioned :$ 6.5 billion

Iron Fist is mentioned by an executive or consultant : 5/1

Amazon

Amazon actually breaks out Kindle marketings amounts in absolute terms : 15/1

Amazon establishes fund by someaccident : 5/1

AWS stumbles a $12 B annual control proportion : 8/ 1

Amazon shares go up at the least 3 %: 3/1

Media is mentioned for some reason : 4/1

An Amazon executive mentions the number of Alexa knowledge : 3/2

Over/ under on number of Alexa knowledge if mentioned : 7,000

Box

Box returns to negative free cash flow : 5/1

Over/ under on mentions of cohort analysis during earnings entitle : 2

Box stock goes up 3% or more : 6/1

Verizon

Verizon apologizes for calling it Oath : 100/1

TechCrunch shoutout : 200/1( come near Tim !)

Paypal

PayPals stock goes up 3% or more for some reason : 4/1

PayPal actually has some breakout of Venmo : 5/1()

Qualcomm

Apple is actually mentioned by epithet with regards to the pending dispute : 15/1

Over/ under on number of mentions or questions regarding the Apple dispute : 5

Fitbit

Fitbits market ceiling descends below GoPro after its report : 3/2

Over/ under on unjustified pride metrics mentioned : 7

Tesla

Tesla is GAAP fruitful : 7/1

Tesla actually vanquishes possibilities for automobile shipments : 5/1

Tesla responds it will create more fund with a stock sale : 25/1

Discussion concerning the promote of brand-new external fund : 5/1

Over/ under for the number of consultant questions regarding SolarCity : 4

Pandora

Someone responds Pandora is exploring strategic options : 5/1

Cisco

Something amusing fairly thats worth mentioning happens : 50/1

GoPro

GoPros stock stumbles another all-time low-spirited : 7/1

Something foolish happens : 3/1

Square

Another minor overpower : 3/1

Be sure to check out TechCrunch in the next week for its coverage of earnings for major tech companies .

Alex Wilhelm, editor-in-chief of Crunchbase News, contributed to this upright .

Read more: https :// techcrunch.com/ 2017/04/ 17/ techcrunchs-first-quarter-tech-earnings-season-prop-bets /

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