5 Random Questions You Didn’t Know You Wanted Answered

I have stupid questions that need answering. Sometimes I desperately demand you to answer them for me. But most times, they’re more insignificant for my tiny attention straddle to hold onto before they’re wiped out by a fantasy in which I’m the world’s best basketball-playing secret agent porn star.

Maintaining that dumb curiosity so I can try to find an answer afterwards is something I’ve been trying to improve on. It’s taken some employ, but over the past year or so, I’ve been able to stick with five any issues that I would’ve commonly dumped into my brain’s rubbish compactor, had I not made a awareness effort to save them and, if possible, use them to memorize a bit something new.


Where Does The KKK Get Their Robes ?

Klan drape don’t have the difference frequently considered to be in homemade attires. Move to any geek pattern, and you’ll find cosplayers whose adapting abilities array from adroit to the kinds of things you hallucinate when you fight off the purposes of Ambien. I’ve never been appalled at the shoddy stitching and unbalanced arm lengths of a Klansmen’s robes, but I’ve learnt too many cosplay Spider-Mans who look like they’re war figures being softened by a huge magnifying glass. Klan robes gaze store-bought. So does that mean that there are KKK accumulations? Perhaps a KKK-Mart?

KKK-Mart . Boom, y’all. Boom .

Back in 1925, when is available on the Klan was a hobby that searched good on a resume, there was a KKK catalog that each Exalted Cyclops prevented as an requiring cite for his chapter. Each page boasted the same explains of Klan member modeling the dress, standing with sass like he’s really exasperated by the long rows at the bank.

“Hey, any y’all as fired up ’bout this daggum string as me? It’s hotter than the dickens, and this hood ain’t helpin’! ”

The way Klan members buy garbs hasn’t changed all that much in the near-century since. They’re made by professional accommodates, largely out of their own residences. They make a decent living out of it, but I’m approximating the money’s exclusively the cherry on top; they do it for the adoration of their hate for nonwhite people. The world’s worst fondnes project.

Some digging led me to a Klan seamstress in the Deep South who hand-sews robes seven days a few weeks, at around $140 a pop. It’s a one-woman operation, so she only churns out a robe a week. She’s kind of like an Esty shop owner, but with artisanal handcrafted prejudiced soul cloths instead of decorative soaps.

I found another Klan tailor who runs his functioning out of his home, selling around 1,000 drapes a year. All his gowns are sewn by white people, devoting them that authentic appear simply the handwritings of a white supremacist can deliver. Yet the guy profiled in the fragment says he isn’t against the costumes being make use of nonwhites. He doesn’t attend “if the only available person is an Oriental, ” as long as they don’t “turn it into a kimono.” If this person watched an Asian flipping burgers at McDonald’s, he’d be worried they’d given a sack of egg wheels instead of a Big Mac. “Sorry, ” the pimply-faced Asian girl would have to say. “No is important that I cook, it comes out egg rolls.”


Why is Garfield So Popular If It’s Never Been Funny ?

The Garfield comic strip’s previous legacy will be the strange imbalance between its ethnic standing and how in 40 years it’s never once produced a single legitimately odd mockery. That’s hardly my own mind. The Garfield Minus Garfield webcomic and the Lasagna Cat YouTube streak are anti-fan projects that received huge success said the simple-minded fact that Garfield ignites a cross into the scalp of humor.

The case for Garfield being funny isn’t helped by the results of Googling “best garfield strips.” A mas of the links in the first several pages are parties honestly objection others to deliver them a entertaining Garfield divest. It’s baffling.

Turns out that everything this time, I could have just Googled “why isn’t garfield entertaining” to answer a question that’s harassed me for years.

There’s a simple scornful truism at Garfield ‘s core: It was never intended to be quirky as much as it was a calculated attempt at creating a marketable reference. A scribe for Slate uncovered age-old interviews with Garfield founder Jim Davis in which he illustrated the genesis of the deprive. What’s strange is that he never talks about Garfield with the romantic overtures writers frequently run when they talk about the motivations behind the performance of their duties. To paraphrase Davis himself, he made “a awareness effort to come up with a good, marketable character” — which draws ability, since he was working in push before he composed the piece. Garfield is the McDonald’s badge of the Sunday Funnies.

He studied the later years of the Peanuts comic strip , observing how Charles Schultz phoned it in after Charlie Brown and Snoopy realized him a billion dollars. Davis must have figured: Why make your ass off to clear something so you could eventually seashore on past success, when you can seashore from the start by making it marketable fairly? He indicated Garfield up for tons of licensing possibilities, guarantee that the firebrand would forever mar its strong root information. In one descended swoop, he gave us decades of looking at three comic committees and then shrugging in violent apathy.

He established a reputation the base comedic elements of laziness, voracity, and affliction, and then echoed those themes thousands of days in daily pieces until the character is increasingly associated with a specific provide of relatable peculiarities than any actual entertaining instants. Jim Davis has a supervillain’s intellect and chose to draw a feline for a living. And it totally fucking worked.


What The Hell Are Those Gross Tendrils Hanging Off Of Bananas When You Rind Them ?

Bananas are fine. They’re not something beings are usually passionate about. They’re mostly inoffensive. Primarily . If there’s one part of the banana event that they are able elicit any kind of feelings reaction above tepid enjoyment, it’s those strange stringy tendrils that hang from the banana meat.

My bad dread is that I’ll be chewing one and the tendrils will wrap around my face and suffocated me with the banana flesh .

I was under the impression that they were just parts of the banana that had adhered more to the rind than the meat, so that when rind, the sinewy little deprive of banana flesh moved with it. At most, I accepted it was a method for the banana to shed its physical fatigues and attain a higher form of bananatude in its final instants before fatality. Even with that perfectly logical rationalization, I’ve still perceived them mildly perturbing. Burning into one doesn’t penchant or even definitely detect any different than the rest of the banana, more I still get this mental image of myself chomping through the muscle fibers of a human forearm like I’m a starved zombie.

It turns out they’re alone separate from the banana chassis and have a biological intent. They’re announced phloem bundles. As the banana originates, the sheaves cure move nutrients and liquid up and down the banana’s flesh to help it germinate. Without them, all bananas would be the unsatisfying little stumpy ones grocery stores sell as a really funny mockery. “Haha, you bought the unfortunate banana. And now you will encounter bad luck at every turn until you make someone else your poignant banana.”

So really, they’re banana veins. In our efforts to demystify that which I did not understand, I’ve merely stirred banana flesh tendrils much more repulsive.


How Many Goddamn Chickens Are There In The World ?

Think of every KFC, Popeyes, Zaxby’s, Bojangles’, Chick-Fil-A, and Church’s Chicken within ten miles of you. And then think of all the other non-chicken-specific fast food braces that serve pieces or chicken sandwiches — all the Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings and every regional boasts prohibit that slings offstages for so cheap that you’d study Star Trek ‘s meat replicators were real. Do the same with all the food market that are never hurting for chicken meat, and every other restaurant that has a chicken dish on its menu.

Now expand that by the rest of your city, then your district, then the country, then the world .

Jesus Christ, that’s a lot of fucking chickens. The number’s got to be enormous to alter our world bloodlust for yummy chicken extinction. But that’s likewise got to be an absurd thing to calculate. How would you even embark doing that? What kind of brainless carried out in a worldwide chicken census to even rebut such as a stupid subject?

The United Nations, it turns out.

The UN’s Food and Agriculture Organization led coop to coop asking chickens about the number of chicks in their houses, along with their annual income, and concluded that, as of 2014, the world has around 21 billion chickens, which produce the 79 billion eggs eaten by Americans every year — and that only accountings for the chickens on farms. They’re not factoring in the random loose chickens you have to evade when you drive through shitty neighborhoods, or by the one mansion on the block that’s decided to build an organic farm in the two square paws of their front lawn.

For a little view, moo-cows have the second-highest cattle population, and they top off at a feeble 1.4 billion. As the human rights population grew by 80 percentage between 1970 and 2008, the world chicken person grew by 262 percent. The rate of chickens to humen is 3-1. That is necessary that if we divided all the chickens equally among ourselves, and then contributed ourselves a little time to get to know them, every human on Earth would have the perfect number of chickens with which to play “Fuck, Marry, Kill.”


Why Doesn’t Saran Wrap Cling To Things Anymore ?

There was just a tiny bit of pleasure I derived from my mom fixing me put to sleep leftovers. I’d get to wrap concepts in Saran wrap, that clear plastic film that’s primarily used for collecting food or neatly wrapping up dead body parts before setting of them in a moras. It did more than merely fold. It gript . It clung . It stuck . Whatever was wrapped up in it was never “lets get going”. I’d have to dig my fingertips underneath it and feel better withstand my is making an effort to rind it away. It’d sound like a big wet lick from a parody hound when it was rind off. It was satisfying.

And then, the working day, it didn’t stick anymore. And I amazed: Was it just me? Was I misremembering how good it was? Because if you try to package something in today’s Saran Wrap, you’ll find that it’s about as effective as trying to verbally convince the leftovers to not spoil.

It’s a succor knowing that I didn’t dream it. The loss of cling is real.

What bestowed Saran Wrap with clingy sorcery was a compound called Polyvinylidene Chloride, or PVDC. And it was toxic. When beings threw away the wrapper along with the eight-week-old leftover casserole they eventually admitted they were never going to finish, the plastic was ultimately get incinerated at jettison equipment, mailing lethal toxins drifting into the breeze for us to breathe.

That didn’t sit well with Fisk Johnson, the CEO of SC Johnson, Saran Wrap’s corporate proprietor, as well as the bearer of a mention that fixes him constantly sound like he’s going to bully George McFly. He sought the objective of eliminating PVDC, fully aware the chemical was the reason Saran wrap directed so well. For a year, he and his designers worked on a cost-effective replacement that wouldn’t harm the environment. They came up with … nothing. So they reformulated Saran wrap to the best of their capabilities, knowing that unless there was some kind of chemical compound breakthrough, they were never going to repetition the results of the age-old, lethal formula.

Before the change, Saran Wrap’s the shares was an 18 percentage. Today it’s at 11 percent. Johnson removed PVDC for improvements in the human race, knowing it would hurt sales, and he didn’t give a shit, and now I want to make a clear plastic film for placing meatloaf our new pennant so I can honour it. It’s beautiful to hear “owners corporations” do the ethical event by representing their small its participation in clearing the world a clean locate to live at the risk of profits. For all I know, SC Johnson is trying to turn us into screaming cancerous flesh globule with plutonium-powered Glade Plug-Ins, but this one behave is a delightful gesticulate that corporate giants don’t often do gladly. Is my kitchen floor utterly caked with food that refused to be contained? Yes. But are my lungs Saran-Wrap-gas-free? Hell yes.

Luis is busy trying to come up with his own billion-dollar Garfield-style scam. In the meantime, you can find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook .

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